Our Father Who Art in Heaven...

Dad,
Today is Father's Day. Does anyone have any idea how painful it is to have lost you? But I know my deep, even painful longing to see you is just my true desire to be with our Heavenly Daddy. My true Daddy, who art in Heaven. One day dad, I will be side by side with you worshiping Him. I would like to praise Him with the song "Hosanna" as my first song in Heaven :)
I have trouble expressing myself, which is why I am having trouble putting this blog post together.
But there is one thing I know. You are worshiping the Heavenly Dad today and forevermore! Amen.

Dad,
Do you remember our last conversation?
You told me life would be hard and to always look up when I faced trials and troubles.
You told me to never be ashamed if I had troubles or addictions but to go to God and others for help.
You told me to not worry about things in life and if they work out or not, but to trust God and let him work things out.
You told me "I love you and I took deep delight in being your father."
You told me you were proud of me and all my dreams, loves, and passions to "go for it." You encouraged me.
You told me that this life is way less about me and more about others.
You told me that it was better to give than to receive.
You told me to love my two older brothers and how special they were.
You told me to take care of mom :)


Dad,
Do you remember what you showed me?
You showed me that the Prince of Peace is with us to the very end, on our death beds, taking us by the hand to eternity with Him.
You showed me that with Christ ALL things truly are possible.
You showed me what it means to fulfill the marriage vow "until death do us part."
You showed me what it looks like to mess up, repent and turn to Jesus.
You showed me that we weren't made to live alone, but to be in fellowship and walk with the Holy Spirit.
You showed me that in order to be a good Daddy I must for be a good Christian.
You showed me that God is good and I could indeed trust Him.
You showed me what it looks like to leave a legacy for Christ.

Thank you Dad for making Jesus and the gospel so easy for me to love and trust, and for building a godly legacy. I love you, I miss you, and I will see you again in heaven.

Your youngest son,
Nicholas Kenneth Wagoner

Poem Found in Paul's Safety Deposit Box and Burial Location

First off we would like to thank everyone who has helped us out. We encourage you to check out the last few blog posts to see the journey we have been on. Please continue to pray for Karen, as it is hard to lose someone you have been married to for over 36 years.

Second, the location of where Paul buried is across the street of the Monticello Methodist Church at 23860 W 75th St Shawnee, KS 66227.

Here is a poem we just found that Paul put in the safety deposit box. I do not think he knew how much it would reflect his life.

I may have lived longer
I may have lived longer had I done more to stay alive
Eat my vegetables
Limit my intake of bad stuff
Exercise more regularly
Breathe only clean air
Drink only pure water
Shake hands of only the healthy
Reduce my stress level
Avoid bad neighborhoods at night
Not be a missionary
'but, God has appointed man to die and then the judgement...'
'I don't live to live long but to live forever, so...'
Become a Christian
Tell many about Jesus
Pray for God's direction in life
Serve well
Obey all God has asked in his word
Number the days this short life
Die ready to face judgment.

jerry kizzire

A Son's Thought

I am Nick, the youngest son of Paul and Karen Wagoner. It seemed very appropriate for me to express my thoughts of my dad's funeral on Monday.

I guess I just want to say thank you to everyone who showed, especially the speakers. Mr. Zeplin, J.D. Asbell, Andrew "Uski" Straub, my brothers, and Uncle John. I know if Paul was there to hear everyone speak he would have been so proud and honored. I believe that both the songs played and the speeches given did a remarkable job showing the WHOLE life of Paul Wagoner.

Mr. Zeplin said things that even I didn't know. I had no idea just HOW successful a worker my dad truly was. He showed what "the best of friends" means and really asked the tough question "can you say that you have never been this close to the Lord than ever before?"

J.D. Asbell was a cherished friend of my father's. You told my dad's true love for the Lord, his family and his friends. You showed people just how good God was in my father's life.

Andrew who will always be "Uski" to the Wagoner family. My dad gave Andrew the nickname "Uski" and to this day no one really knows why or where Paul got it. Paul loved everyone who stepped foot in our home. Andrew truly to honor Paul with his words. It is funny how when people honor God, He honors us.

And of course I loved the speeches given by my brothers. Powerful speeches that would put a huge smile on both my earthly father's and Heavenly Father's face.

Uncle John your story of Jesus and what He did on the cross was powerful. You showed what Christ did for my dad and because my dad put His trust in Christ, he can and DID enter the gates of Heaven. Amen. You also showed my dad's love for people. I enjoyed it all.

I know there are perfect wedding, but I never thought there could be a perfect funeral. Now don't get me wrong, losing my father is and will continue to be something hard to face. But the reality is he ran the race set out before Him and is now in eternity with the Lord Jesus Christ.

The goal of my speech at the funeral was to show my dad's life and that he truly did leave a legacy for us all to live. A legacy of a Godly man, worker, husband and father.

Christ was honored by the life of Paul.

Nick

Funeral Information

Paul Donald Wagoner, 59, of Shawnee, KS went to be with the Lord on April 21, 2011 in KC, MO after a short battle with cancer. Paul was born in 1951 in Omaha, NE to Robert and Helen Wagoner. On June 1, 1974 he married Karen Jean Nihsen in Council Bluff, IA and they later had three sons, Ryan, Mark, and Nick.

Paul was a successful wholesale pharmaceutical distribution manager with many distinctions and honors showing his work ethic and superior relationships to the people he worked beside. Paul will be remembered as a loving husband, father, grandfather, son, and cherished friend. He touched the hearts of many and was a true blessing to all who knew him.

He is survived by his wife of 36 years, Karen Wagoner, sons Ryan and wife Tabitha Wagoner; Mark Wagoner; Nick Wagoner, two grandchildren Abigail and Logan Wagoner all of Shawnee, KS; his father Robert Wagoner of Louisville, NE, brother Wayne and wife Elise of Ralston, NE, sister Mary and husband with husband Ed Icenogle of Denver, CO, mother-in-law Lavon Nihsen of Council Bluffs, IA and many nieces and nephews. He is preceded in death by his mother, Helen Anna Wagoner and his father-in-law Kenneth Adolf Nihsen.

To celebrate Paul’s life, family and friends will hold a visitation at 10am and a memorial service at 11am on Monday, April 25, 2011 at the Mill Creek Community Church 7825 Gleason Road, Shawnee, KS 66227.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to help offset funeral costs.

Pam Laffler will be coordinating donations of meals/ requested items. Please call her at 913-244-9329

Paul went to be with Jesus

On Thursday April 21, 2011 Paul D. Wagoner passed away and is now with his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He fought the good fight and is now home. He passed away about 5:25 p.m. He died with his family around his bed with his wife holding his hand... the way he would have wanted it.

We truly appreciate ALL the support from everyone during this difficult time.
Funeral information will be posted as soon as possible.

The Wagoner Family

Wise words from Abby

Well as you can imagine the family is tired today. The doctor said it could be anytime now. Paul did wake up a little today and asked me (Mark) in a whispering voice, "wheres mom". Karen came in and was able to comfort him. He knows we are all there for him and praying. We are blessed to have so many people take time out to see him and for those who have made and brought food for us.

Abby asked for Ryan today and Tabitha said daddy was at the doctor with Papa cause remember he is sick. She said "yeah... papa is going to heaven and Jesus is my friend and is gonna take care of him" This is the second time she has said this.

View from the bed

Here is a view from Paul's bed. We have read all of the cards and notes and are thankful. The nurse said, "most don't have that many cards. In fact almost no one does." Even today with all of the pain medication he notice that there was a new card added to the collection.

Thank you!

Needing a helping hand

We appreciate all the support from friends and family. This would be so hard without the love and support from friends and family. So much of you have asked HOW you can HELP and here is a list of things the Wagoner family could use:

- our lawn mowed
- Gas cards (there is a great deal of driving done to and from the hospice)
- meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) at the hospice; fruit bowls are nice. Gift cards for groceries.
- prayers and visitors :)
- drinks (water, Gatorade, pop, etc.)
- Buy our house :)
- tell us your memories of Paul
- sit down and listen to mom :)

Call us if you have any questions
Karen's Cell (913)- 314-4661
Nick's Cell (913)-269-4934
Mark's Cell (913)-269-4889
Ryan's Cell (913)-481-2812

Thanks!

Thanks for all the love and support!

Spent the majority of the day with Paul. They have increased his pain medication and consequently Paul is in and out of sleep. He can hear us talking, but is to weak to talk back. We appreciate all the visitors, flowers, cards, house work and breakfasts, lunches and dinners that people have brought to us. I don't know how we could have gone through all this without the love and support from family and friends!

God is good to us. And soon, Paul will be with Jesus in eternity. What a beautiful picture. We all are so grateful that we had the opportunity to tell Paul how much we love and appreciate him.
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Blessings from our friends and the doctors news

Paul is getting weaker by the day. The doctor recently increased his dosage of morphine to help ease the pain. She said he still has a little bit of strength left in him and has a few more days.

The hospice house has been a nice place to stay given the circumstances. We have been grateful for all of the meals that have been brought to us by our friends. Tonight a church organization donated food to the entire place so we got to eat a nice hot meal. Many people have blessed us and we are grateful. Last night we prayed with dad. With hardly any strength left in him, Paul thanked God for his family and friends.

Out Side and Some Gospel Music

Today Paul got to spend some time outside! Also, a women who is a worship pastor and does music therapy came by Paul's room today. And of course he requested her to play some Elvis Presley and Johnny Cash. She ended with one of dads favorite songs How Great Thou Art.

As the days go on we realize how much we miss dad being home. Mom was telling us that every morning for the past 36 years her and Paul would get up 30 minutes earlier than needed just to have coffee with one another.

A Beautiful Day Outside

Quality Family Time

Dear Friends and Family,
another wonderful day at the hospice. There has been a great deal of visitors coming to see Paul. He LOVES to see his friends and family come by. The family is pretty exhausted and is fast asleep.
Thanks to everyone for your prayers and support.
A thought for the day:
my family (and friends) would LOVE to have Paul healed and live another 20 to 30 years. But the reality is, he is going to be healed when he goes to be with the Lord. That IS the best thing for him and for everyone who is a follower of Christ. It IS and WILL be hard losing Paul. That is a fact and a reality of life. But also, the reality is he will be with Jesus for eternity. He has left a WONDERFUL legacy.

I don't think we could have made it through all this without God, family and prayer.
Thanks to you all
The Wagoner family

Saying Goodbyes is hard...

Yesterday was a beautiful picture of family and friends that had come to spend time with Paul in his last days. We all joined together holding hands in a circle to pray together as a family to pray for Paul, to thank God for saving my father and changing his life. It was a bitter sweet moment, or as Paul calls it, "a win, win." In the family circle we asked Paul if he had anything to say. He said,
"I have never been closer to the Lord than I am now. If you need anything, make sure to look up."

Paul is enjoying his stay at the Kansas City Hospice Center. He is grateful for all the company of family and friends. It is a beautiful time of family coming closer together. With the 50 plus people that have visited since Paul arrived, it is evident of how many lives he has impact.

The family knows that there are sleepless nights to come as we wait for the news.

Busy dad at the hospital

Both Paul and Karen's family came in all over from Omaha, Denver, Council Bluffs and a special visit from his good friend Andrew Straub, who drove 15 hours from Ohio just to see Paul. Thanks to Laura Burch and the Maranatha students for your prayers and songs for Paul. He and his family are very thankful for everything. We appreciate all the people who came by to see Paul.
They will move Paul to hospice at 7:00 p.m. to spend his remaining days. The address is:
Kansas City Hospice Place
12000 Wornall Road
Kansas City, MO 64145-1117
(816) 941-1000

Paul's final days

At the hospital now with Paul. He is not looking very good. The doctors have taken him off of his fluids/IVs and have given him stronger pain medicine. He is in a great deal of pain. His blood pressure has dropped to 84 and it does not look like he will make it to next week. He is ready to go and be done with the pain. Thank you to everyone who has visited Paul and have been praying for us. Paul has continually told his family how much of a blessing it is to have his family and friends with him during all this. And as he told us "I don't know how people could go through something like this without family. To die alone would be awful" The Wagoner Family.

An Unfortunate Update

We found out today from a body scan that Paul's cancer has spread to other areas of his body including his bones, other lung, and adrenal glands. We have been informed that he only has a few weeks to live. As you can imagine it has been a hard day for the family. Tomorrow a hospital team is meeting with our family to decide what the best plan of action is. We spent the evening with Paul and had some tough conversations about planning his funeral and also talked about life without him. We also talked about old memories with him when we were young boys.

Please keep us, especially Paul in your prayers tonight as he lies in his bed knowing that he will soon be in his heavenly home. There is a lot of work to be done.

We bought him an ice cream cone tonight and guess what. He ate the whole thing. He always did have a sweet tooth for ice cream. Here is a picture

Day 6 at the Hostpital

It has almost been a week since Paul was admitted into the hospital. He is slowly getting better every day. He took his first bite of solid food in about 8 days on Friday night. However, he has a long way to go with eating. They have taken him off of the morphine drip, and he is now taking a pill form of another painkiller. Paul says his throat and esophagus still hurt, and sounds like it would be the equivalent of having a third degree sun burn on your throat. The main concern has been getting his pain level under control, then getting him back to drinking and eating. They are pumping fluids in him now. He is still very weak and will need to be in physical therapy. They will release him once he can start to eat solids and drink liquids. We appreciate all of the people who have stopped by to see him, and also for the flowers, gifts and cards. One always had to keep an eye on Paul. This picture is in his room.

At The University of Kansas Hostipal

Day 2 at the hospital the doctors did some test on Pauls throat to see if there is an infection. We wont know the results for a few days. Paul has still not been able to eat or drink anything for several days now however, today he was able to eat a Popsicle. Paul is very tired (mostly from the morphine) and week but we are able to have short conversations with him. Some old friends from Omaha came to see him. They were old coworkers that he has not seen for years. When I asked him who visited today he was very emotional. I think he really appreciated them coming in town. I hear that they brought him a green wig and took pictures with him.

It was a blessing to have Phil and Ora bring the family Chipotle to the hospital on Tuesday night. It had been a long day and we were all hungry. I know dad was happy to see his brother, sister-in-law and father yesterday as well as everyone else who came and saw him.

We are all realizing that when we as Christians, hear of people who are in need, we are called to do something about it. It has been challenging but a valuable lesson.

Paul was Admitted to the Hospital

Today Paul was admitted into the hospital after having severe throat pain. It turns out that he has an infection due to the radiation. As of now they have stopped radiation treatments. Paul has also lost a lot of weight. The doctors said he was 105 pounds. He will probably be in the hospital for a while.


Please keep praying for him!

picture from last weekend and an Update

As we were told by the doctors, Paul is beginning to lose his hair. With a little humor Paul says "well at least we dont have to pay for hair cuts anymore". He has told us that his throat is in extreme pain now and needs prayer.
Here is a picture from last weekend.

One more day of radiation for the brain

Paul completes his last day of radiation on his brain on Wednesday. They can only give him 10 treatments so lets pray that it works. Lately Paul has been able to move better than he has in the past and does not need his wheelchair as much.

Last weekend Bretly's grandmother Darlene came in town all the way from Des Moines, Iowa because she felt that God told her to come and pray for Paul. It was a blessing and an encouragement to have her with us. We also had more family come in town and it was great to see everyone (and more are coming this weekend). We ask that you continue to pray for him and tell others to do the same.

Paul & Karen appreciate all of the letters people have sent them. Keep it up!


-Mark

"Encourage one another day after day"

As Hebrews 3:13 says, "encourage one another day after day." I (Mark) talked with dad the other day and I asked him if he would like people to send him words of encouragement. He said he would love for people to do that. If you get a chance (even if you have not met him) I would encourage you to write him a letter or send him an email.
Our address is:
24620 W 61st terrace
Shawnee, Kansas 66226

The 16th

Today (Wednesday) Paul got his hair cut and Ryan took him to a park. Today is also Paul's father Robert Wagoner's 87 birthday. Below is a picture of a few generations of the Wagoners at Christmas.

The family goes to Frtiz's

The doctor said on Monday that Paul gained some weight and was looking better. Paul wanted to go to take Abby and Logan (grandchildren) to Fritz's restaurant. The kids loved to see the trains drive by and drop off our food. Paul enjoyed the meal and precious time spent with the family.

FYI: We have been approved by Helping Hands Ministries to accept donations.

Its good to see family and friends

Over the past week we have had family and friends come and see Paul. I know he really appreciates it. Thanks everyone! Paul is doing well today (even though the radiation machine broke down for a while). We are planning on taking him outside tomorrow to enjoy the weather.

Urgent Update

Nick and I took Paul to get an MRI done yesterday before his radiation treatment. The scan shows that the cancer has spread to his brain in two different spots and is now considered stage 4. This would explain why he cannot move the left side of his body very well. The plan is to have 10 treatments of radiation on his brain to shrink the tumors. Unfortunately it is incurable. We will let you know what they decide to do in the long run.



Here is a music video by Casting Crowns: I Praise You In the Storm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPS8sa-bRQ


- Mark

wish we could share good news today

I wish we could share good news but the effects of radiation are beginning to become noticeable. Paul is very weak and is struggling to eat due to a loss of appetite. He can no longer walk on his own and feels very tired. Today he has a meeting with several professionals at the hospital to figure out what we need to do. I think they are going to get us a wheelchair and a walker.

Prayer request
Pray that he has an appetite
Pray for the doctors and other professionals to have wisdom on what to do
Pray for dads spiritual strength

Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee..."

- Mark

March 2, 2011

Paul has been going daily to radiation. We are grateful for friends to help us get him to his appointments as they are different times each day. It gives the boys and I a break. Paul is doing okay with radiation - mostly very fatigued and doesn't have the best appetite. We are thankful for the gift cards, notes of encouragement, cards,emails, books and food that we have received. They are all a blessing to our family.

Day 4 - KU Hospital

They were right - it took four hours - Paul had a stent put in thru his groin as planned. They also put another stent in thru his chest and did a balloon. He is home and is sore, but doing well. No radiation today, but will resume again tomorrow.

Day #3: Surgery and Radiation Treatment

Paul will have a stent put in tomorrow morning at KU Hospital in KC, KS. It will be an outpatient procedure taking approximatley 4 hours. He had radiation tonight, will skip tomorrow, and proceed again on Thursday as scheduled.

Paul GAINED 7 LBS at his last checkup. A praise report!

Paul's Recent Visit to the Dr.

We went to the oncologist today for the first time. We've had a bump in the road. They have decided that Paul is too weak and fatigued to do both chemo and radiation at the same time. We will start radiation tomorrow, and after 5 weeks of radiation, they will reassess his health to see if he's ready to start chemo.

The reason he is so weak and unable to eat is because the tumor is pressing against his superior vena cava which takes all the blood back to his heart. They will be going in next Wednesday to put a stint in this artery to fix this problem. His nutrition is still an ongoing struggle, but they gave his medicine to increase his appetite. We will continue to keep you updated on his progress.

Thanks to everyone for your prayers and care for Paul and our family. God has been expediently gracious to Paul and our family. Thank you all for your prayers and support.